Saturday, March 31, 2012

Organic Scented Aphids for Sale!

No ... seriously, I am in business to sale Aphids to whoever wants them. Natural (duh!), Organic, Scented Aphids!!!

Apple Nutmeg Scented Aphid ;-)

You know ... if you can't beat them ... join them; and more than that, I am sure, once I'll start raising them … they'll die ... or ... I'll find a method to ... help them ... as I do with my bonsai (killing them with over-love ... or over-water) ... or my tomatoes (don't even ask about those, OK)

Out there, you know, … are crazy guys raising not only pelargoniums … but … lichens ... and … and … yeast … so why not aphids?

Growing … Aphids?! Yaaa, I know for sure that you are doing the same ... you just do not want to admit it.

They say ... if you build it, they will come, so here I am, announcing the entire World that we've decided to raise and sell Aphids. Why not ... these are special aphids, grown on scented pelargoniums, very healthy, no insecticides were ever touched my plants.

Coconut Scented Aphids ... great Pests and Pets.

Aphids are Great Pets, not only Great Pests ; smaller enough so they'll never bother you, green (as in Green, sustainable, whatever ... you know), playful … but lazy, multiplies like crazy (what pet can give you this great opportunity???) Forget about the "101 Dalmatians" ... you can have your own "Quintillion Aphids" in no time. You don't need to walk them, nor clean up the mess. No expensive bills to the Vet ... and definitely you don't need to declare them or acquire a special permit. Nope. Nothing. Nada.

Playful, lovely Scented Pelargoniums Aphids
Playful, lovely Scented Pelargoniums Aphids, face to face.

Just try harder NOT to have them ... and voila ... plenty of Aphids. Enemies ... not so many ... and the voracious but affectionately called Ladybugs, well ... call them ... Lazybugs … they never shown any big interest.

Aphids with babies
Happy Aphids Family Reunion: mother and kids.
What? You’ve got them too? Hmmm ... but ... but … are yours scented? See, that's the catch ... mine's are:

"Coconut Scented Aphids" (lavishly feasting on Pelargonium grossularioides), "Fruity Scented Aphids" (fed only on Pelargonium fragrans), "Apple Scented Aphids" (doing so great on Pelargonium odoratissimum) and even "Southern-wood Scented Aphids" (promising activity on Pelargonium abrotanifolium).

Sorry no Skeleton Rose (Pelargonium x radens), Lemon (Pelargonium citrossum, crispum, citronellum) or Peppermint (Pelargonium tomentosum) scented Aphids; no matter how hard I try … no success.

Also, if you ever consider, growing Aphids, don't try Ginkgo biloba, Bay laurel, Ficus, Blubbery, Boxwood, Coleus, Dracaena, Euonymus, Forsythia, Jasmine, Schefflera or Yew. For everything else ... there's an App for that ... I mean there's an Aphid for that. Many Aphid species are "monophagous" that means feeding on one only plant species.

I need better names for "my" Aphids … there are already “green apple aphids”, “rosy apple aphid”, “apple grain aphid” and “wooly apple aphids” … even "Strawberry root aphid" (Aphis forbesi) and "Strawberry aphid" (Chaetosiphon fragaefolii), "Green peach aphid" (Myzus persicae), "Pea aphid" (Acyrthosiphon pisum), "potato aphid" (Macrosiphum euphorbiae) and "melon/cotton aphid" (Aphis gossypii).

Didn't find your favorite Aphid yet? ... do not despair ... there are over 4,000 species of Aphids.

If you don't like aphids, you should consider fungus gnats ... but (always there is a but) these are not the same caliber. Yes they can eat your lovely plants roots, yes they'll come to you once you'll offer them some vinegar or the like, or even a small potato piece  ... BUT those are not scented, ... nor Green ... and ...

White-flies and spider-mites? Hmmm, I don’t think so … the first ones would fly around and sit underneath the lower leaves … and the other ones … way to small. Aphids … always goes on top, perfectly aligned,... always insight and … always showing you where new shoots or buds are coming.

In the experiments I've conducted, Aphids always climbed to the top of the container in five minutes or so. Perhaps they know where the apex dominating shoots appears. Try it by yourself. It's fun. Know your enemy ... I mean ... your friend.
I can even envision, kind of an anti-hourglass device. You know .... the old device of measuring time ... sand hourglasses where granules of sands falls down through an orifice ... think about something like that but with Aphids climbing it ;-)

"Aphids Hourglass" ... yet another innovative product from
Throw a leaf into the jar and in less than 5 minutes ... everyone starts sucking. You know ... they suck! Literally.

Aphids for use as food.
Food for your toad, salamander, frog, spider and the like. You need a suitable location, like an aquarium, and enough light to grow some plants ... younger the better. Harvest them and stored them into your fridge; I've kept a jar with Aphids for more than 8 hours at 3-4 degrees Celsius ... and survived and immediately start moving when bring back to room temperature. More test to follow.

Great potential for human consumption :-) Fancy restaurants all over the World included insects and other "novelties" into their menu. I am not aware about any studies regarding this matter, so don't rush yet to your garden to pick up freshly, softly, succulent Aphids for your steak or soups ... but again ... why not?

Aphids for scientific experiments. Aphids do a great job transmitting viruses to plants. Want your micro syringe to inoculate thousands of plants ... no problem ... Aphids to the rescue!

Raise them so you can test your new annihilation method? ... simple. In no time you'll have your own mega population to test against it. Cleverly market your ultimate Aphid killer substance and make billions ... but one thing is sure ... you'll never stop them. Nope ... not a chance. This guys are very tough, despite their softy body and laid-back appearance.
Adapted to "suck and pump" the juice from almost any plant in the world, doubled by a very clever reproduction cycle and with a 4 x 4 ... actually 6 x 6 traction capability ... even airborne ... we stand no chance against them. Yes, adult Aphids can occur in wingless or winged forms … that means … they can fly!. Mine are not flying (yet) … maybe because “winged adults are mainly produced for migration to other hosts, in response to crowding or poor host quality” as stated by Minnesota Department of Agriculture

Maybe someday, Aphids would do great in the perfume industry too  … no need to work so hard to extract essential oil from scented pelargoniums … why even bother, when you can have an entire army at your service … a clone army, you know, like in Star Wars … who’ll do the work for you. If ants figured this out and use aphids as "milk cows" ... why we cannot do that? Actually, Aphids suck plants' sap phloem and not the scented "oil" ...

Ant drinking honeydew from aphid
Ant drinking honeydew from aphid - (c) pbertner, Flickr

Maybe I shouldn't stop at this level ... just direct sell them ... I should consider expanding my vision and offer a franchise: Scented Aphid-Pets ... BTW, tomorrow is a big franchise expo in Vancouver; I don't feel I am ready yet, but I should go anyway.

Here you go ... "Scented Aphids Franchise ... another business opportunity from"

Aphid pondering on Geranium stem
Aphid pondering on Geranium stem.

Please let me know if you are interested to buy our "Friendly, Playful and Fragrant Aphids", or if you know somebody who is interested, write to me immediately. You can buy Scented Pelargonium seeds to raise your own Scented Aphids,  or if you like to donate, click the following button:

Meantime ... stop bugging the Aphids, OK? Embrace them instead and learn how to live with them. They’ll continue to exist on this planet long after we'll be gone.


Pygge said...

I love this!! I'm a botanist and I've studied biology - i.e. all living things. A week ago I found some aphids on one of my newly bought cuttings (P. papilionaceum). Yesterday I found that they had spread to my P. laxum (both in my quarantin room - that is full of new cuttings). Right now they live alone in my bathroom, to be treated and I'm searching through all my other new cuttings every second day. I needed something to cheer me up and this was it. I'm not going to let them move in though ;)

Anonymous said...

I need some... why my neighbor is I prick and their garden must die.

Wantsaphids said...

I need some, please. A hundred or so! Thanks.

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Anonymous said...

Do you still sell aphids?


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